


What Happens When a Bored Troll Gets Stuck in Pern Temporarily

by Foodmoon



Category: Dragonriders of Pern - Anne McCaffrey, Naruto
Genre: And certain individuals certainly regret it, But it's a close thing at times, Gen, He doesn't change history, Kakashi is a troll, M/M, Pern doesn't quite regret meeting him, at least not much, offscreen referenced violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 05:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17543669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon
Summary: What if Kakashi accidentally ended up in Pern for a few months?Kakashi doesn't know why he's in Pern hundreds of years in the past, and he doesn't really care, but he would like to go home.





	What Happens When a Bored Troll Gets Stuck in Pern Temporarily

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [One World's Tragedy is Another World's ...Gain?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17499242) by [Foodmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon). 



> For anonymous, who wanted to know.
> 
> This is an OMAKE, a what if that doesn't happen in the main story. Iruka's trip was a one-time, one-way trip, only possible because of the convergence of events, an inconvenient concussion and a LOT of desperation on his and Naruth's parts.

**OMAKE in Pern**

Kakashi comes out from _between_ , which he still hates with a passion, thank you very much, and blinks at the dragons filling the sky. Not that dragons filling the sky is particularly noteworthy anymore, but… _these are definitely not the dragons he expected to see._ The tight battle formations are something Iruka’s described to them as something historical and the lairs have practiced to some extent because Kakashi believes in being prepared and teamwork, but these are clearly professionals. The dragons darting in and out of between now and then, and breathing flame at some tangled masses falling from the sky.

 _*Thread*_ Rinze informs him, the word carrying a note of instinctive hatred.

 _Okaaay, then. Apparently they’ve traveled through space **and** time **and** realities to end up in another world…for no apparent reason._ Well, it’s not like he hasn’t seen stranger things. He ponders if they should try to help, for a moment, then decides that the Pernese riders have it covered and decides to watch their formations and tactics instead.

Rinze grumbles, but concedes. Iruka has been very clear that queens fight only as a last resort. Fortunately they are high up enough that the riders can’t casually notice them and be distracted. He’s rather impressed by the _wings_ , though he sees the occasional sloppiness here and there once he parses the patterns sufficiently.

The wind shifts abruptly after a bit, sending huge tangles of thread towards the unprepared _wings_ below. Rinze screams in rage and dives towards the most threatened wing, coming in above them and breathing out a _raikiri bēru_ in vengeful defense. Kakashi just curses and grabs onto his saddle, which really isn’t designed for this level of combat, _but hey_ , at least has been designed for all the trick flying he and Rinze have come up with.

Using lightning chakra is kind of out of the question. No one is going to get in front of _Rinze_ , but these riders fight in formations, and accidentally electrocuting one of them is a no. _Well then, fire it is._

The wingleader urges his dragon up to yell at him to have Rinze retreat.

Kakashi aims a fireball past the man’s shoulder to incinerate the thread that would have hit his dragon, and yells back, “A little busy here! Get your _wing_ in order, and we’ll duck out.”

The man curses in acknowledgement, but does just that. _Thankfully. Since Kakashi is well aware that Rinze would simply defy him otherwise and stay to fight._

~

Kakashi slides down from the saddle in relief. He sees the very instant the still tetchy wingleader realizes that he’s a man. He listens in appreciation to the stream of invective this brings forth. Iruka’s too straightlaced to swear much.

  _*Shut up!*_ Rinze finally snaps at the man, startling him badly. _*My Kakashi is perfect, and I am **not** a hatchling! Even if I’m smaller than your lair’s queen, I’ve clutched twice already. Kakashi is lair-lady of Konoha lair, and you will **not** disrespect him!*_

“ _Maa, maa_ , Rinze. It’s not his fault we accidentally ended up in _Pern_ , and he’s not aware that our world has different customs.” He says in amusement, well aware that his accent is rather distinct. “And before you ask, wingleader, no, we haven’t come here for a mate. Our lair already has a lair-leader. We don’t know why or how we ended up on _Pern_ , or how we will get back. _Saa_ , and while our dragons are a slight bit smaller than yours, they can use _chakra_ , which requires a bit more mental acuity than the dragons you are used to.”

The man just gapes at him.

Another bronze rider, who has been studying them quietly, asks politely, “Did you lose your flamethrower, queenrider?”

Kakashi blinks at him. “Never had one, actually.”

The man frowns. “I’ll find you one, then. I didn’t think queens could chew firestone, and didn’t know they could breathe white fire like that, but it can’t be good for her.”

“ _Saa_ , no need. It’s not from _firestone_.” Kakashi demurs, and coats one hand in lightning to demonstrate. “As I said, our dragons can use _chakra_. Though we would appreciate if you would allow Rinze to hunt among your _wh-whi_ …erm, to hunt meals here.”

The man nods. “That’s guest right for visiting dragons. She’s certainly welcome to whatever _wherries_ she needs. I’m Kh’nar, rider of bronze Preneth. And that’s Wingleader T’mon, rider of bronze Coranth.”

T’mon finally collects himself, then cocks his head, looking startled again. “Weyrlady Sedara relays via queen Nasalath that you are welcome to accommodations here as long as needed.”

Kakashi nods. “I heard her. Tell her she has my thanks.”

The two bronze riders aren’t the only ones who gape at him in response to that.

“You can hear other dragons than your own?” Kh’nar asks carefully.

“Can’t everyone?” Kakashi asks blankly, then belatedly remembers that Iruka had been startled to begin with at how many people in their world could hear dragons besides their actual riders. _Oops._ “ _Saa_ , I mean… It’s a fairly common ability in our world. Iruka thinks it’s because we have _chakra_.”

Kh’nar stares at him for a long moment, then allows, “It’s pretty rare here, even among queenriders. As far as I know, there are no records of any but a queenrider having the ability.”

Kakashi eye smiles at him. “ _Saa_ , how about we just tell everyone my ability to hear all dragons is why I was picked as queenrider, then? A visitor from another reality would be troublesome if news got out, _ne_?”

T’mon mutters under his breath.

He eye smiles at him, hearing the imprecations clearly enough to know they’re unwilling agreement. T’mon reminds him of a more foul-mouthed version of Tenzo. _How fun!_ “Should I also mention that I have enhanced hearing, sight, and smell?”

~

A couple weeks later, Kakashi snoozes lightly, book over his face as shade, on the city wall of a rather small hold that he’s accompanied the Weyrlady Sedara and several others to. He’s already done his shopping, having found a rather nice set of throwing knives to compliment the basics he always carries. Since he has no intention of being a baggage carrier, he promptly got ‘lost’ and found a nice sunny wall to nap on, despite Rinze’s affectionate comment of, _*Lazy*_

His lovely nap comes to an abrupt end as a boot connects painfully with his ribs, tipping him over the edge of the wall.

“Die, abomination!”

Even startled out of sleep, it’s easy enough to catch himself, sticking to the wall with chakra instinctively. He snags his book before it can drop to a tragic fate, and puts it away carefully. “ _Maa, maa_ , that’s not nice. What if I’d gotten hurt?”

The civilian, now staring at him in shock, screams and runs away, yelling about _‘unnatural demons’._

Kakashi giggles to himself and calmly walks up the wall to resume his nap.

 _Well now, that’s one moron who won’t come back. At least not alone._ He’d been warned that there were civilians who are bigoted against the _weyrs_ , but he’s still a bit surprised that one of them had the gall to attack a queenrider, regardless of gender. Chances are good that his buddies aren’t as foolish, and if they are… Well, he hasn’t had any good spars since ending up in _Pern_. A workout will do him good.

~

Kakashi is bored. Bored, bored, _bored._ There’s no one up to a proper spar here, _like hell_ he’s doing genin chores unless it’s for Rinze, he misses Iruka and Naruth, he misses his subordinates and his cute not-so-little students, he misses Konoha, and even Icha Icha begins to pall after reading the same book 50 times in a row. In short, he’s _bored._

“Kakashi! I know you’re lurking around here! Come out!” R’than, a brown rider, grumps loudly.

Curious, he drops down from the ceiling, where he’s been avoiding T’mon, who seems to think he can make Kakashi do chores that even genin would turn their noses up at. “Yo.”

R’than jerks his thumb at the gaggle of weyrlings following him. “Weyrleader wants you to teach them how to defend themselves. Something about _‘dumb as wherries and twice as helpless’_.”

“ _Saa_ …”

“If you don’t want to do it, tell him yourself. I’ve got better things to do.” R’than cuts him off, then stomps off to do whatever _‘better things’_ he has to do.

Kakashi looks at his new students and represses a sigh. _Scared puppy eyes are lethal. He hates it when brats do that._

Instead, he gives them an insincere eye smile.

_The brats are pre-genin age. Whose bright idea was that, to stick him with children?_

_Saa… If Weyrleader Gr’van is going to hand him troublemakers, he can hardly be surprised if Kakashi chooses to make something of them, right? Just look where his last one had ended up._

_… Wait. Had he actually mentioned that Naruto was his student? Or that he’d started off as a prankster and outcast?_

_Well, no matter. He’d been bored anyways. May as well teach the pups to hunt and fend for themselves._

 ~

Five months later, Kakashi beams with pride as the pups traipse back to the weyr with three decently sized wherries carried between the nine of them. They’re only 7 and 8 yr olds, and will never have chakra reserves above high genin at most, but they make for an adorably vicious pack of pups. _Why, they can even meditate without falling asleep now._ He has no doubt that all of them will _Impress_ within a few years, and make for a tightly knit, efficient _wing._ And little Tevassen is resolute enough that it is almost certain he will end up as a weyrleader when his future dragon is grown.

Of course, Kakashi pretends nonchalance at the shock on various faces when the pups traipse in with determined little faces, carrying game bigger than any three of them are with no great effort. It’s their first hunt to bring back prey, and they’ve done better than weyrlings twice their age. To be expected, of course, but that doesn’t keep him from savoring the troubled faces their achievement provokes. _So amusing._

The commotion, which is rightly ignored by his plucky little pups, brings Weyrleader Gr’van to investigate. “So, you’ve built up their strength? That’s quite a remarkable amount to carry back, even if your Rinze made the kills for them.”

Kakashi eye smiles at him. “Oh, they hunted them all on their own. Rinze refused to move off her sunning ledge today, and it was just so cute watching them that I forgot to help.”

Gr’van gives him a wide-eyed look, then reassesses the weyrlings visibly. “They took down the wherries on their own? Impressive. What about self-defense? Did you teach them that when you taught them how to hunt?”

He shrugs noncommittally. “You can match them up against whoever was bullying them if you want to see for yourself.”

~

The match is pathetically short, even though Kakashi takes away all his pups’ knives and reminds them twice beforehand that permanent maiming isn’t allowed in spars, even if you hate your opponent. _Weyrs_ can’t afford even the loss of bullying assholes, when they’re potential or new riders.

There is dead silence as the onlookers gawk at his slightly bruised up pups and the very unconscious six bullies nearly twice their age laying on the ground, the ringleader of the bunch sporting a neatly broken arm courtesy of Tevassen. Tevassen looks extremely smug. As well he should. It’s harder than one would think to deliberately break an arm that cleanly, making it simple to splint and heal up without complications.

“ _Saa_ , is that sufficient self-defense for you?” Kakashi asks Gr’van lazily.

“ _Shards!_ How did you even…? I thought you said you were a retired _Lord Holder_ before you _Impressed_.”

Kakashi slouches in exaggerated gloom. “Maa, maa, did I say that?”

“You did! I asked you to teach them basic self-defense, not turn them into terrors.”

He gives the weyrleader an innocent look. “There’s a difference?”

Gr’van starts muttering under his breath in a way that makes it hilariously easy to tell that he and T’mon are half-brothers.

“Saa, Iruka said it was equivalent, but _Kage_ is probably closer to a GuildMaster. Of fighters. Who happen to have their own _holding_.” He explains, then steps forward. “Excellent job, pups. Now what do you do when a spar is over?”

“Make sure the injured get to the Healer!” They chorus dutifully, pride lighting their eyes at the rare praise.

He claps his hands together. “Good. What are you waiting for?”

 _Ah, it’s so cute to see them descend into a dither as they argue about how to transport six unconscious people, each half again their size._ In the end, they fetch a barrow and stack the least injured four in there, with Arla and Tevassen pushing it and making sure it doesn’t tip over and spill their human cargo. The remaining two are carried by three each, with the smallest, Learen, making sure the broken arm doesn’t get jostled dangerously during the trip. _Such smart pups! Maybe he’ll give them a day off in reward._

The _weyr’s_ harper has been after him to allow them more time for lessons anyways. While he’s at it, he can bribe the man to make up copies of all the common ballads and songs for Iruka, who misses his culture far more than he’ll admit to. The little knickknacks he’s picked up for his lairmate so far aren’t really enough. Those are more apology for going missing so long, even if it _isn’t_ his fault.

~

R’than scowls at queenrider Kakashi. The man is downright strange. And his habit of wearing a mask is one of the least strange things about him. “Even you should know better than to leave the _weyr_ when Rinze is about to _rise_.”

The strange little queen is within three days of rising, at most, going by her color and recently snappier temperament.

Kakashi doesn’t look up from lashing his packs on the saddle securely. “Saa, about that. Rinze says we’re going home now, because no dragon but Naruth gets to fly her. So it’ll be fine, ne?”

“‘Fine’.” He repeats blankly.

“ _Hai_!” Kakashi turns and eye smiles at him, one of the most genuine ones he’s seen from the man. “Your weyrleaders already know, and I’ve told the pups to behave for you. It was nice knowing all of you, but I’ll be glad to go home and see Iruka and how our own _lairlings_ have grown. And try not to worry so much, R’tan. Someone’s going to mistake you as prematurely grumpy otherwise.”

_Prematurely grumpy? Is there an age to be **maturely** grumpy?_

With that, Kakashi mounts Rinze, who promptly takes off, blinking _between_ a few seconds after she gains a fair bit of altitude.

R’than stares after him for a few moments before shaking himself. “The name’s _R’than!_ ” He grumbles, still annoyed at the man’s inability to pronounce _‘th’_ sounds properly. “Wait…good for _me!? Why me?”_

Shards no! He absolutely wants _nothing_ to do with being responsible for the man’s terrifying _‘cute little pups’_. The weyrlings that Gr’van dumped on Kakashi in annoyance no longer bear any resemblance to the timid, not too bright children they started out as. He’s turned them into little _monsters_ who can walk up walls, lift thrice their weight with ease, and take blows that should kill a grown man and get back up like nothing happened. And R’than is _pretty sure_ that the man’s _also_ taught Arla how to give men nightmares with just a _glance._

Being a perpetual grump most certainly doesn’t deserve the horror of having _the pups_ dumped on him. That’s beyond punishment or retaliation and right into _sadism_.

~

Kakashi strips off Rinze’s saddle and slaps her flank affectionately. “Don’t overeat, now.”

  _*Won’t*_ She assures him and takes off to hunt in the Forest of Death.

Setting aside the gear for later cleaning and whatnot, he shoulders the saddlebags and wanders into the lair proper, calling out, “Honey, I’m home~!”

His weyrmate turns from scolding a group of lairlings and frowns at him. “It’s about time! Where have you been? When you didn’t show up in Suna, everyone started looking for you, but it’s been two full weeks! I’ve been worried sick!”

“Saa, about that… Rinze decided she wanted to fry some _thread_ , and then we went sightseeing, and after that some puppies needed some training, so… Ah, and Rinze will probably rise tomorrow, since we’ve actually been gone almost a year. But I brought gifts?”

Iruka splutters, face turning red, then sits down abruptly.

Kakashi regards him in mild alarm. “Was it something I said?”

“Shards! You were fighting _thread_!?”

 _Oh._ “Just the once. For a few minutes. They refused to let us go out with even the queen’s _wing_ after that.”

Iruka lunges to his feet and gets right up into his face and yells, “That doesn’t make it any better!”

 _Ah, there’s the Iruka he knows and loves. He’s missed the heartfelt scoldings._ Training minions is amusing and all that, but there’s nothing quite like coming home to someone who isn’t afraid to yell at you because they care.

~

“Weyrleader, about Kakashi’s _pups_ -” R’than begins.

“Ah, yes. Kakashi tells me that you want to be the next Weyrling Master and that he’s told them to behave for you.” Gr’van claps him on the shoulder. “Congrats. This is really good timing. Ar’n has decided to retire next year, and after seeing you handle _that_ group, no one will question your capability to be Weyrling Master!”

R’than stares. While it’s true that his Tevith is one of the dragons worst suited to flying threadfall, it hadn’t occurred to him to try for _that_ position. And anything will seem easy if he manages to survive Kakashi’s _pups._

 _Of course, surviving them is not a given_.

  _*They like you*_ Tevith assures him lazily.

_Yup, he’s gonna die. He’s not going to last until the little monsters Impress. He’s going to be the first Weyrling Master to die before he reaches twenty-one, and predecease his predecessor before the title can be handed over._

_*Silly*_ Tevith accuses fondly.

R’than blinks as a mug of klah is pressed into his hands and gulps it down.

_He’s doomed._

**Author's Note:**

> Raikiri bēru: lightning veil
> 
> They are a fair bit back in history, Rinze is smaller than the average queens of the era, but still larger than their bronzes, thus mistaking her for not quite fully grown.
> 
> Weyrling Master: Adult in charge of the weyrlings who are old enough to do chores for the weyr and potential rider candidates. _(I don’t remember if the Weyrling Masters were actually riders or just part of the weyr.)_


End file.
